So someone emailed me and asked me how I resist the temptation to eat. So I figured I would answer on here, in case anyone else is wondering the same thing..
I used to worked with this girl, and she was tall, about 5'9 (keep in mind I'm only 5'3 lol) and she was probably around 275 lbs. (Pretty funny since her job was to promote health and wellness, but that's a whole other story.. )Anyways, I absolutely hated this girl, because I always found myself so disgusted with her..
Well this girl, would always brag about how pretty she was, (trust me, she really wasn't, she had bug eyes, orange skin and a clownish grin, and did I mention the grease in her hair and oil in her skin from her piss poor diet?) Well, she always felt fat, wanted to do something about it, but never did etc. We used to have a 15 minute break and then a 2 hour lunch break. She would bring 3 full meals with her every day to work, sometimes 2 and then she would get fast food.
When I find myself in the kitchen, looking for something to mindlessly eat, empty calories to fulfill my hunger, I stop, stand there and close my eyes. I picture this disgusting girl at my old work, stuffing her face full of sandwiches, inhaling bags of Doritos. I've never seen someone eat as fast as her or with as much greed.. The salt and grease on her fingers from her potato chips, the extra mayo on her upper lip, meat stuck in her teeth, reaching back into these brown paper bags looking for more and more fulfillment, scraping her pudding containers clean, her fat fingers grabbing at every morsel of food that she could manage to fit into her swollen puffy face during these break times. The way the fat on her neck moved every time she chewed. Watching her take a fork and eat an entire cake, and then go back for the brownies and cookies that my patients used to bring us..
And then I picture her face as my own.. I picture my hands and feet swelling until I can no longer bend my fingers or toes. I picture my stomach swelling with food until my belt loops rip and the button on my jeans give. I picture how she used to try and squeeze into men's XL shirts until it looked like a child's t shirt, on days when the local basketball team was playing. I picture wearing yoga pants stretched so tight across my ass and hips and calves that they turned see through, and you can hear the cries of the spandex as I hike them up further over my fat rolls, as she did.. For the days that she would wear flip flops with her fat feet swollen like baby swine.. How the hell does someone get fat fucking feet anyways?! How many calories must you consume to have them puff up and round out so that there's a small roll where your toes meet your foot?! I just picture all of that on me. And suddenly, I'm not so hungry.. So thank you B, for reminding me how fucking disgusting fat girls are.. And remember to always think thin and starve on..
Xoxo,
T.
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